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Change of Roles


Throughout our lives- things, people, places, and times are changing. We are apart of a time when technology is growing, temperature climate is rising, people are leaving and going, etc. Life is constant as change is never ending. The type of change that we don't always stop and take a look at however is the never ending change within ourselves and our changing roles.

We start out as someone's young daughter or son and get used to that role as the dependent child. We lean on our parents for financial support, fight with our sibling that we share a room with, and make it home from a friend's house by 9 pm curfew. When we reach a certain age (for a lot that age may be 18 years old give or take a year depending on one's culture or prospect of moving away to college), we then gain this new role of independence (financial and/or possibly emotional). We may be in college living in a dorm or working full time living in a studio apartment in a new role of a young adult. Although we still have a role as someone's daughter or son, we are no longer a dependent young child, but instead an independent adult child. Our role shifts and changes therefore apart of our personality shifts and changes. Getting used to new responsibilities or changing relationships with our sibling that we no longer share rooms with or even live with for that matter transforms to trying to remember to keep in touch with that sibling.

No longer being financially stable or dependent on our parents is an option. More responsibility is placed on you.

Later, maybe you decide that college isn't for you or it was for you, and you quit college or graduate and get a job. You are no longer the the student role where professors expect you to submit papers or fellow dorm mates accompany you to frat parties. You are now in the working world, regardless of what the job is.

We are constantly changing our roles. This can be exhausting or exciting or both at once! How do we manage these always changing roles? Well for one, acknowledge that your roles are changing and it is normal to feel a sense of loss of a role that no longer fits us. For example: Leaving my dependent role on my parents at a young age and going to an independent working student role (incorporating moving out, becoming financially independent, and going to school while working all at the same time) was exciting but also a major loss for me. I no longer had that financial support I did as a kid. Grieving that loss is important to successfully move on to a new role.

It is also vital to talk to someone during these transitions and losses of roles. Try a family member, friend, or for more professional support, a therapist. Young adulthood can be tough, but roles don't stop changing there. They are just starting. If you need the extra support, give me a call and we can talk about services and goals.

Thanks for Talking it out!

Melissa :)